


Ask A Stupid Question...

by Ember Nickel (primeideal)



Category: Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types, Chess - Rice/Ulvaeus/Andersson, Jesus Christ Superstar (1973), Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - Webber/Rice, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: 5 Things, Drabble Sequence, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-30 17:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primeideal/pseuds/Ember%20Nickel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five musicals that didn't have to drag on so long. Originally written January 2011.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"But what's the point?" the Russian sighed.

"Um," said Molokov, returning to the stage, "to win the championship that you care so much about, and that deep down is your most important goal?"

"Oh yeah!" he brightened. "Slipped my mind."

"No problem. As per your earlier request, and for reasons of verisimilitude, because let's face it we're Soviets with the wherewithal to help you memorize lots of long openings, I've brought in a bunch of people who actually know what they're talking about."

"Sweet. Okay, anyone wanna go over the King's Indian Defense?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Could it be," suggested Joseph, "that I was born for higher things than you?"

"It's entirely possible," said Reuben, "but it might also be your subconscious trying to make sense of the things you see when you're awake."

"Hmm, grain and stars?" said Judah. "Yeah, your problem is that you're up at all hours of the night anyway. Try getting a normal sleep schedule—and help us out with the sheep once in a while, Benjamin and Simeon can handle the grain."

"Thanks, guys," said Joseph. "I knew I could count on you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Glinda!" called a man. "Is it true you were her friend?"

"What kind of a question is  _that_?" she responded. "Even if for some reason I  _was_  a friend of, let's remind ourselves, the Wicked Witch of the West, what good would it do any of us for me to tell you that? It's not exactly going to make me look any better, is it?"

"Of course not, your mageliness. Nothing could. You look ravishing as you are."

She smiled flirtatiously. "Why, thank you. Now let's get to work on some societal reform, eh?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh," sighed Belle, "isn't this amazing?"

"Is it?" said Gaston.

"Oh yes, it is! See, this is the part where—wait, do you read books?"

"Well," he blushed, "I'm afraid my literacy isn't exactly up to snuff. But...I'd  _really_  like to learn. Particularly with a...helpful teacher."

"Oh, well, why don't I try?"

"Would you really?"

"Of course!"

She turned out to really like spending time with him. They'd known each other for a while, but it took her a while to discover who he was at heart. Just like in the books.


	5. Chapter 5

"What's the buzz?" said the disciples. "Tell me what's a-happening."

"You really want to know?" said Jesus. "We'll ride into Jerusalem within a week. In the ensuing week, I will be hailed as a king, rail against sellers in the temple, heal random sick people, fail to fulfill messianic expectations by leading a violent revolution, institute what will later be known as the Sacrament of the Eucharist, be betrayed by one of you, be crucified as a criminal, and return to life."

Peter sighed, mouthing "I hate it when he talks in those cryptic parables."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Ask a Stupid Question...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2766902) by [klb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/klb/pseuds/klb), [readbyjela (jelazakazone)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jelazakazone/pseuds/readbyjela), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




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